Balancing Our Busy Lives
For many of us, our lives seem filled to the brim. We cram everything we can into each day, thinking each activity is absolutely necessary. We often end up frustrated, frenzied and rushed, wondering, where and when does this all end? Once the kids are grown and gone? Once we retire? Once we get away for a vacation? What about now?
Upon reflection, many of us realize that we don't necessarily want to eliminate activities but would simply appreciate more time for relaxation. The challenge is to find a way to balance it all without making drastic lifestyle changes.
Examining our priorities may help us achieve this balance. It is often helpful to look at four life areas: social, physical, mental and spiritual.
Social aspects include your relationships with family and friends, support systems and leisure time. Are you spending an inordinate amount of time in this area, or not enough?
Physical aspects involve self-care choices. Are you getting enough sleep, eating nutritiously, and regularly exercising? Do you find that you drink, smoke or overeat when stressed? Determine if your habits are helping or hurting you.
Mental balance involves staying sharp and alert. Practice using all of your senses to stimulate creativity. Be aware of your emotional health and know it is directly related to how well you take care of yourself physically. See your doctor regularly and take any medications as prescribed.
Spiritual health deals with the aspects of life that provide purpose and meaning to you. Is your lifestyle reflective of your morals and values? An imbalance in this area may affect your motivation to make necessary changes in your life. For some, spirituality means cultivating gratitude and maintaining a positive attitude. Others may seek a more organized form of religion to enhance their spiritual lives.
Negotiating the balancing act can be overwhelming. The following tips can help you achieve desired changes as you work to establish balance in your life.
Start with a self-inventory. Identify which areas of your life (home, work or leisure/personal time) are out of balance.
Prioritize Your Inventory. Which changes can make the most impact for you? What can you realistically control and change? Remember that you only have control over your own actions and responses; trying to change others is usually a fruitless effort.
Set Goals. Based on your self-inventory, develop short- and long-term goals that incorporate plans for a more balanced, healthy lifestyle.
Organize. Make a daily to-do list to break larger goals down into more manageable steps. Write the list down. Doing this allows you a sense of accomplishment as you mark tasks off. Don't set yourself up for failure by listing tasks that you can't accomplish due to lack of time or resources.
Stay Focused. Post your to-do list where you will see it often. This will keep you focused on your daily priorities. Frequently ask yourself if you are using your time wisely.
Delegate. Use your support system to help you more efficiently handle tasks. Remember to use the strengths of those around you. It gives you the opportunity to convey trust in others while lightening your load.
Be Assertive. Learn how to say no to tasks that you don't feel are your responsibility. Learning to set limits and be clear about them is effective because it lets others know what to expect from you as well.
Avoid Procrastination! Dive into tough tasks as soon as possible. Procrastination can give these tasks more power that they deserve, making them more difficult to deal with as time goes by.
Define Your Prime Time. This is your time of day when you function at your peak -- you are most likely to be alert, enthusiastic and creative. Use this window to complete the most challenging tasks of the day.
Prioritize Time for Yourself. To effectively care for others, you must first be able to meet your own needs. Reward yourself for hard work and schedule time for yourself. Don't feel guilty about doing this.
Be Flexible and Forgiving. Life is unpredictable. Focus your energy on forgiveness and understanding, rather than anger and retaliation. Remember that tomorrow is a new opportunity for positive outcomes.
It is easy to overload our schedules. While each of us has our own personal issues, there are three common barriers that keep us from attaining the balance we seek.
The first barrier is having unrealistic expectations. Setting goals and having high standards is very desirable. However, problems arise when expectations are unattainable. Knowing when to be flexible is critical.
Another barrier comes from messages we receive from others. The strongest messages usually come from those closest to us, including family and friends. These messages may also contain "should" statements, often causing us to feel guilt for not living up to other people's standards. It is beneficial to check your messages to ensure you are not too focused on trying to please others at the expense of yourself.
The final barrier is negative self-talk.What messages are we giving ourselves? Dwelling on what we "should" be doing, or criticizing ourselves plays a significant role in how we feel about ourselves. Pay attention to these thoughts and work on eliminating destructive thinking. Acknowledge and praise yourself for successes.
Take time to evaluate your own life, and make the necessary changes that will help you maintain a healthy balance. Remember that EAP professionals are available to help you work through your concerns with an objective point of view.